Azure
by Cassie Jamie
Summary: She never thought she'd be here... Warning: character death.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Azure

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            I never thought I'd be here.

            Never thought I would be standing over the cold steel table, while someone dissects the body of one I knew too well.  One I cared for and loved with each molecule of my being, dead before his time had truly come.

            Alexx hurries into the room, beckoned for by one of the M.E.'s assistants.  She scurries to my side and lays a hand on my cheek, "Calleigh.  You shouldn't be in here, honey."

            "I have to." I whisper back, watching as the male coroner pulls a sheet of the broken form.  I shift my gaze, allowing my hand to find my friend's, "He wasn't supposed to be there…"

            She nods at me, "I know, angel." Before she leads me out of the morgue and half-carries me through the maze of glass and metal that creates the Miami-Dade Crime Lab.  Eric is sitting on the couch of the breakroom with his parents as well as the Captain; the latter looks up, comes toward us with a determined yet melancholic sheen to his features.

            "You need to sit, Calleigh." He instructs, forcing me into the nearest chair with gentle hands while mumbling under his breath about obstinate pregnant women.  He disappears for a moment only to return with a cup of cold water.

            Silence endeavors, then shatters.

            Like the bullets that past through fragile epidermal layers to delicate organs.

            "Who do you want me to call?" He asks, trying to take the normal biting-edge to his voice away, "I can call your mom or his dad…"

            "Dad's vacationing in Vermont and my Mom's been dead a year." I skip back at him, "I just want to go home.  The baby should be awake from her nap.  I…uh…I have to tell her about her papa…"

            The thought comes unbidden to the forefront of my mind – how can I go on when everyday I'll wake up and see that head of hair, those eyes?

            "I'm not sending you home alone, honey.  And don't worry about telling Mariah.  I'm sure one of her uncles will be able to explain it to her, okay?  Don't worry about anything right now." He responds, kneeling a little to level eyes with my own, "I'll take care of arrangements."

            I nod, knowing that what ever he does will be fine as all officers get pretty much the same ceremony with several specifics changed for the person.

            "Laura…" He turns to the tech, and I see her eyes are still red-rimmed.

            Maid of Honor at my wedding.

            They exchange words, but I've exited reality to think back to our last anniversary.  A month ago made it five years with a four year old daughter to show for the union as well as a little boy coming any day now.

            "Cal?" She cuts into my musings.

            "Yeah?"

            "Come on, let's get you home." She pats my hair, when Eric walks over.  He says nothing, enveloping me into the hardest hug of my life.  Hot tears soak into my shoulder, and my heart twists.

            A stray of red hair, a wisp at the edge of my vision.

            Not real.

            And that's when the surreal numbness breaks away, dissolves in a wash of pins-and-needles.  Blood wash across my eyes.

            His blood.  The crimson which once pulsed through his veins and arteries, rasped through his lips until they were kiss-bruised.  The crimson that he spilt to save me, because I demanded we stop at the market for fresh strawberries and peanut butter.

            "Oh, gooooddd…oh, god!  NO!" I scream suddenly, jarring the others around me.  Alexx wipes her hand across her eyes, before laying that hand against my back.  I know the Delko's are holding on to my hands.  Where the others are, I do not sense through the maelstrom, nor do I care.

            Horatio's dead.  My husband is dead.  Laid out in the morgue he worked in just some hours ago.

            And it's my fault.

            "No, Calleigh!  No.  It was not your fault." I hear the Captain violently oppose, proving that I stated that out loud.

            I sag, slither from the hold of my friend's arms, and begin to curl around my pregnant belly, when I feel the warm hands of my best friend touch my shoulders, "Calleigh."

            Speed's voice.

            He sighs, "Time to go home, Angel." As he tugs me up, supporting my magnified weight against his side, "Mariah's being taken care of, alright?" Somehow his tone tells me that he's going to care for both me and my children – the born and the unborn – until I can care for us by myself once more.  It's the shallow bit of comfort I will take for now.

            I take my leave of the passing world, ignore the labs of people attempting to avoid the shed of tears and failing wretchedly.  I open my eyes wide shut, to find I'm being buckled into the backseat of a CSI Hummer, Unit 01-A.  Tim fiddles for a few seconds longer, sliding the belt into an unrestricting position.

            He stills then, hands on my belly which holds within my second child…our second child.  Set to be christened with him as the godfather.  "Did you…ever…"

            "Doesn't matter now.  If it's a girl, Jessamyn after his mother.  If it's a boy, I'm naming him Horatio."

            And, please God, let it be a boy.

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*v* Cassie Jamie *v*

csimiami@cassie-jamie.com


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